rattledmuses | [Open] Cuddles and/or beets

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[Open] Cuddles and/or beets

{ Inspired by The Vampire Meme. VLD-S3 references. Feel free to take prompts from there, or see if the below prompts could work for you :3a }

1) Known

Granted, Allura could just land the ship on the nearest planet, or get it near enough the next star, but she was drained -- sapped of her energy more than usual. It was different from having a lack of sleep and rest, like when they were relentlessly chased by Zarkon; and different still from being exhausted after replenishing the Balmera. Perhaps piloting the Blue Lion in addition to being the key to the castleship's ignition has something to do with it.

She could still walk thankfully, but she felt like she was in a perpetual state of insomnia and food goo wasn't cutting it anymore (far too processed, perhaps). Coran was usually the one she calls to for help -- but he had been away on an errand with two Paladins and it would take two more days before they could return. And by then, she must have enough energy to open up a wormhole and get the ship moving.

It was therefore with much reluctance that she approached the next inhabitant of the ship she came across, and with a tired smile she asked, "I need your help."

2) Secret

The hunger could not have come at a worse time -- not when so many people were around, not when someone important was with her. Allura was wrong to think that she could leave in a short time and so had not taken the quintessence drops with her.

She had had to excuse herself and find a secluded area were maybe there was a living plant that could give her enough to last the next hour at most, but all she found was a sitting room with books and decor. She at least had privacy maybe catching a cat nap would do the trick. Now if only sleep would come quickly and leave just as fast...

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Keith was debating if he wanted to hit up the training deck this morning. It had been a long few days, certainly, and he was hoping that things would actually remain rather quiet today. Pidge was working on a few leads on both Lotor and Matt with Coran with the starchart projector, and he decided to just stay out of their way until they had something concrete to present to the rest of the team. Hunk was working on his latest recipe, and Keith had no idea what Lance was up to at the moment, but he figured he'd let him be for now. They all needed the break, after all, and Lance was no different.

Keith was also sort of avoiding Shiro a little after the last mission. He was still feeling a little sore that they had contradicted each other so sharply. He wasn't surprised the rest of the team had fallen back on Shiro's leadership, though he was a little hurt by it. But, he also knew he still had a lot to learn. Frankly, he'd been debating just stepping back altogether. Lance had been worried about the idea of six Paladins and five Lions, and Keith was beginning to wonder if the Blue Paladin had a point. This was going to be harder than he expected. Not that he wasn't grateful to have Shiro back, but circumstances felt awkward, and Keith suddenly felt more distant from Shiro than ever before. It hurt.

He knew Allura had been feeling the stress of doing double duty since taking on the position of Blue's Paladin, too. She was still the only person on the team who could power the more demanding functions of the ship, most notably, the teledav. Having her also piloting a Lion, when the Lions drew energy from their Paladins, had to be really hard on her. Keith was thinking about going to check on her when...

Well, there she was. He stopped, and then nodded a little.

"What do you need?" he asked.

It was probably telling, at the least to herself, that she really was not functioning at 100%. It had taken a bit for the synapses to fire in her braincage to figure out that she she first felt relief upon hearing that voice and then to figure out why.

Because she probably couldn't handle Lance's advances at the moment.
Because she couldn't bear getting Coran all the more worried that he already was.
Because Pidge's family needed her and every bread crumb in the trail mattered.
Because Hunk, an efficient cuddler he may be, already had enough on his plate as it was.
Because her being exhausted had her rationalize that something about Shiro felt off and she couldn't bring herself to actually look for him.

Allura blinked as her eyes focused on Keith's face. Her needing quintessence from a living source wasn't a secret, but it still grated at her pride to have to ask more from her Paladins and... well: it reminded her all too much of how Haggar -- Honerva -- fell into a deadly addiction and pulled the entire universe down with her.

"Quintessence." The word hung for a few heartbeats from her lips as apology and perhaps even shame veiled over face. "If it's alright with you."

Keith caught on that she wasn't exactly happy about asking, but he wasn't surprised. Even if it wasn't a secret, it wasn't exactly something Allura went around demanding from everyone, and she always seemed upset by having to ask. Yet, he also wasn't surprised she was in the state she was in right now. He furrowed his brow a little in concern.

"Yeah..." he said quietly. It wasn't easy on any of them, really, but he knew the Paladins used a lot less than she did because they weren't powering up the Castle of Lions on a regular basis. And while Black seemed to draw more than Red did, Keith was still powering through it okay for now, so he'd make do if it meant making sure she could handle this double job she was placed in by Blue selecting her.

"I was actually starting to wonder if you were handling things okay," he continued. "The Lions take a decent amount of energy on their own, too."

Keith's agreement already had relief washing over her that Allura even managed a smile. His concern was also heartwarming. For someone that Pidge had described as a loner, he sure knew how to look out for his own pack of yelmores.

"Thank you. It still takes some getting used to. I should be more careful in managing my energy." As to how exactly, and in a way that wouldn't require asking from her Paladins, she still didn't know. She then turned as if to lead the way. "Shall we head to the lounge, then?"

He nodded, stepping up next to her.

"It's okay. We'll figure it out." They were definitely still figuring out what it was that made the lions choose the people they had. Red had chosen Lance over Allura, which had left Blue open to pick her, but it was just strange that they had done that. Why didn't Black just pick Allura? Keith already had a lion. And being a leader was hard for him.

He didn't feel confident in this new team arrangement at all. And, well... with Shiro practically second-guessing him and almost undercutting him at points, Keith was beginning to wonder if Black had made the right choice after all. Why didn't it take Shiro back if he was doing such a bad job?

His head reeled with all of this as they walked, keeping him oddly quieter than usual.

Her energy may be down and her capacity to physically react at the drop of a hat much less so, but Keith's energy wasn't lost on Allura. She would also have to be blind and deaf not to realize how much he was struggling trying to fulfill the role placed on his shoulders.

She kept silent until they reached their destination and until she picked a spot on the circular couch. She patted the space beside her. "We'll figure things out together, I'm sure. You can tell me what's on your mind, you know. Maybe I can help."

... which is the least I can do in return, she mentally added. Part of her also wondered as to how her 'feeding' affected humans. Apparently, Coran leaves relaxed and slightly elated -- like he'd had the best juniberry liquor. She hadn't thought of asking, but right now, she hoped she could give Keith a similar effect, if it could at least offer a momentary respite from his troubles.

Keith appreciated the quiet, at least. He would have felt bad if she had tried asking him a question or having a conversation with him and he was this distracted. He sat down next to her on the couch, considering that.

"I just wonder if the Black Lion made the right choice," he finally said after some time. "I didn't want it in the first place. And, having it pick me like that... it felt like it was making Shiro being gone so final. And now..." He sighed. "I don't know. I don't know why it didn't take him back. If I'm really meant to be leader, then why does it feel like I'm doing such a terrible job?" Why was Shiro undercutting his ideas and plans? And the rest of them... not that he blamed them for falling back on a more experienced leader and someone they're used to following, but it still bothered him that they had all made such a big deal about him taking on the role only to just drop the idea of following the Lion's choice once Shiro was back. He was confused.

"I wish the Lion had just taken him back for that mission and then everything would be fine again." He wouldn't be a Paladin anymore, because Red had Lance and Blue had Allura, but... if it was best for the team, then he could live with that. He could work with the Blade of Marmora or something instead. Not that it wouldn't hurt... because it would. But the Lions had moved on, right? So, why couldn't he?

Keith's revelation grounded her some, and Allura listened attentively. She hadn't had the chance to voice it out just yet, but she did find it odd that the Black Lion refused to take Shiro back. She has the record of each of their training runs, and Shiro had always occupied top spot in the strength of his synchronization with his Lion...

But she swept that thought aside. Keith needed her now, perhaps more than she needed him. She refrained from saying too much for the time being nudged his arm with her elbow, as if to quietly ask permission for her to put an arm around him. "Lean on me."

She needs a bit more time to process what she understood of what Keith is feeling, and tried to recall the times she felt her father hadn't listened to her, or when he overrode her decisions and how it made her feel frustrated.

He sighed slightly, shifting enough so he could do just that. It had taken a bit for him to be this comfortable with her. Being a loner like he was, physical contact had been something that he'd needed to get used to. It wasn't something he disliked, per se. It just had been an adjustment, since a few of the people on the team were pretty touchy-feely types.

Getting used to it, however, had ended up working in Allura's favor, at least. When it had come out that she needed this sort of thing, it had been less difficult for Keith to deal with it now that he didn't feel as weird about leaning on someone or letting them put an arm around him. Not that he didn't appreciate her asking first. Hunk's surprise hugs were still a little off-putting sometimes, though Keith was getting a little bit better at predicting when the big guy was about to grab hold.

He sighed, settling in a little and closing his eyes. The idea of her 'feeding' on their quintessence was also something that was kind of weird to him, but he getting used to this, too. It was kind of interesting what a person could learn to adapt to.

"Sorry," he finally said. "I don't mean to dump all that on you." She had enough to think about, really, and he felt a little like saying he wanted the Black Lion to take Shiro back might make her think he wanted the original team back... with himself in Red and Lance in Blue... which would push her back to being in the Castle. He didn't want her to think that she wasn't valuable to the team. She was, both piloting the Castle, and also now as Blue's Paladin. She was a good fighter, and had adapted to being on the team extremely fast.

As soon as Allura was sure that Keith was relatively comfortable, Allura wrapped her arm about his shoulder. She was convinced now that it was probably fortunate that she had found him now instead of the others. She made a short humming sound as she shook her head.

"Don't worry too much about it, please. What you're going through is something I can relate to." She gripped his shoulder lightly, as an attempt to give him her reassurance. "I trust in the Lions' choices though to be transparent, the Lions changing Paladins in a short amount of time hasn't happened before. We are dealing with something very new here, and I understand how it can be disconcerting."

Allura breathed in and she can feel the start of quintessence transferring from Keith's body to hers. Small, gold pinpricks of light swirled from the places where their bodies touched, soon to be enveloping them both, like a warm comfortable blanket on a cold day.

"I trust your decisions, Keith. You do push us in surprising ways, but I know that you're making the best of what you can of the situation. You're growing as a leader, and we're growing as a team." A smile can be heard in her voice. "We are going to butt heads more often than we'd like."

Disconcerting was certainly one way of putting it. Keith was still reeling a bit from the change. The Black Lion was a different kind of presence over the bond than Red was, and Red had been so dominant and loyal to him. He felt almost a little guilty having for the Lion's sake having gone through with the switch, but, at the same time, he wondered just how much the Lions understood and knew about what was happening. After all, because he was picked by the Black Lion, Red had picked Lance, but they hadn't tried to have anyone else sit in her cockpit because Lance had assumed he would go back to Blue. Had Blue known that Red wanted Lance and locked him out because of it? Had Red told Blue to do that?

He wondered sometimes just how much the Lions communicated to each other without going through the Paladins.

Keith opened his eyes again, though, when she stated that she trusted him, and looked over at her. "Yeah. I understand that. I mean, look how much Lance butts head with me and that was even before all of this." He frowned a bit. "I just... I'm trying to figure out how all of this is going to fit together with Shiro back again. And, if Shiro is still going to be calling the shots, then what's the point of me even being in the Black Lion at all?"

Now that she has had the time to sit down and let the thoughts of the past weeks settle, now that she has time to have Keith alone and hear his thoughts, Allura couldn't help but feel guilt claw at her insides. In that fight with Lotor's new ship, she was one of those who unquestioningly deferred to Shiro's instructions.

Her guilt showed in her odd little smile, briefly averting her gaze from Keith's. "I-- suppose I didn't help with that, didn't I?"

A small sigh escaped her lips. "Strictly speaking, the one to lead is the one in the Black Lion, and I suppose we got so used to having Shiro around to lead us but," apologetically, she returned her gaze to Keith. "Give us time? Would it help if we sat down with Shiro to talk about this?"

"I don't know," Keith admitted. "It's not like I didn't put myself in that spot in the first place. I basically told him to take over when I told him to go on the mission. The only reason I was in the Black Lion for it was because it didn't respond to him." It would be pretty dense of him not to acknowledge his own part in encouraging Shiro to step up and everyone to follow him again, even if it had ended up just frustrating him in the end. It wasn't like he hadn't made it abundantly clear all along that he hadn't wanted any of this dropped on his shoulder in the first place.

But, now that it was...? And then this? Keith wasn't sure of anything anymore. And here Lance had been the one worried about his spot on the team. It still surprised Keith that Lance had come to him about that, offering to step back. But Keith knew Lance was the better team player. And taking out another person from a support role would have been a bad tactical move. Hunk would have been their only gun, and having Lance as the sharpshooter was a strong benefit. He couldn't deny that.

"What if we really do have one Paladin too many?" Leave the math to Pidge, Keith. But he couldn't, and he really did understand where Lance was coming from with that.

Something in Allura's throat tightened at Keith's question. It wasn't that she didn't know or see the dilemma Voltron had now: six Paladins, five Lions. The present situation only afforded their current lineup only because Shiro hadn't been welcomed back by the Black Lion -- and she was hoping that that situation would sort itself out soon. But that would mean that one of them would have to sit out...

Allura breathed in, wanting to say something again about Voltron being all about the 'good of the mission'; but she was convicted, and so halted from speaking, by her own desire to pilot the Red Lion. She bit her lip because she knew all to well with what motives she came with when she presented herself to the Red Lion. Sure, she wanted the Lions to be able to form Voltron and enable Keith to lead, but she had her selfish reasons as well.

Keith and the others, however... she hadn't given them much of a choice, did she? But they soldiered on despite her nattering at the beginning. They grew with their Lions, and their bonds were growing stronger every day. And then all these things happened. Allura took another breath --

"If it really comes to that," she hated to have to say it, but all things considered, she was the odd one out in the team. There was also no denying the very real possibility of things going back to the way they were. "I will sit out and resume my duties as the Castle's main operator. You five will be back with your respective Lions."

"Would the Lions even take us back that way?"

That was an interesting question, really. After all, the Black Lion had refused to work with Shiro, and Blue had locked Lance out. Keith couldn't help but wonder if Red would accept him back. And, at this point, with her statement, now all of the changed Paladins had expressed the willingness to step down for the sake of a stronger team. But, what difference would it all make in the long run? The important part was being able to form Voltron and use it to its highest potential. Whatever team could generate that would be the best team.

But, what was the best team? Keith frowned.

"I don't know what to think," he admitted. "I don't think any of really do. The Lions are still a mystery. I feel like there's a lot about them we don't know. Any of us." After all, they had done things that even Allura and Coran hadn't known they could do. Just how sentient were they? How aware of the situation were they and what did they know?

It was a lot to think about.

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[Open] Cuddles and/or beets

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